azdesertrose | The end of a dream

Nicholas is very excited about getting an apartment with Aysha and me.

I hate to be a wet blanket on his excitement, but I'm grieving the end of Cliff's and my relationship. For four and a half years, we've shared each other's lives. We've been through all kinds of things together, and at one point, I really thought we'd get married. I never thought I'd get married again after my first marriage.

I had even bought my engagement ring.

I posted it on craigslist last night, and I have a tentative buyer. As soon as he Paypals me the money, I'm going to ship him the ring.

My beautiful Celtic heart engagement ring with Cliff's and my birthstones in it.

But it doesn't mean anything if we're only going to hurt each other by trying to stay together, and I think that's where we are. I don't think there's any way we can get back to the comfortable, shared love we once had. There's been too much anger and too many "Get out"s.

I still love him and he says he still loves me, but I guess sometimes love just isn't enough.

It's just over.