The latest puff

[azdesertrose]

So I got Nicholas to agree that if I work on my physical and mental health, he'll lay off me about the smoking for a while, until I can get to a more settled place mentally where I feel I can let go of the nicotine crutch.

So Nicholas and I are going to form the habit of sharing walks, or if the weather is too crappy for walking outside, I'll do my yoga thing on Yourself! Fitness. I'm going to work on cooking low fat, high fiber, heavy on the lean meat, whole grains, and fresh veggies kinds of suppers.

I'm also going back to counseling. I have three appointments next week to check out counselors to see if they will be able to help me.

That's going to be a lot of difficult emotional work. I'm going to have to drag up memories of what my dad and ex-husband did to me that I'd rather not think about, but I'm dreaming about them anyway, so I have to deal with them. I have to learn to love myself and nurture myself in a way that I have never done. Nobody's going to do it for me. Cliff and Nicholas and Jen can stand by me and hug me and help me hold myself up, but in the end, I have to do the hard work.

Nobody can do it but me.

Comments

[desertrosedark.livejournal.com]

Ooh, would you or Leah be willing to email me that recipe? Sounds yummy.