Rambling again...
Oct. 22nd, 2008 07:25 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
azdesertroseI woke up this morning because I was hot. I was in a pile of snuggly warmness with Cliff and Nicholas, and I started to sweat under the covers.
I was thinking about last night. Nicholas was remembering bad things about his childhood, and feeling bad the way you will when you're remembering things like that. He's still at that point of thinking that because he was beaten and abused that he deserved it. I asked him to picture just some random little boy in his childhood instead of himself. I asked him if those things were horrible, happening to the random little boy, and then I asked him, "What makes them any less horrible because they happened to you?"
The things that happened to him in his childhood should never happen to any child. Little kids should climb trees and ride bikes and run amok and have a great time. They should have someone to kiss their owies when they inevitably get scraped knees and bug bites and all the minor owies that little kids get. They should have adults hugging and kissing them and holding them on their laps and reading them stories. Every child deserves love. No child deserves to be beaten or neglected like he was or sexually assaulted like I was.
What makes me the angriest about the whole thing is how calmly he accepts what happened to him. He has every right to be infuriated that he was cheated of a loving and carefree childhood. But every time he tells me about something else he suffered and I react with shock and suppressed anger, he says, "It's okay." It's not okay. It is majorly not okay. It is not okay that these things happened to him. It's never okay when adults hurt children the way the adults in his life hurt him.
It's never okay.
I was thinking about last night. Nicholas was remembering bad things about his childhood, and feeling bad the way you will when you're remembering things like that. He's still at that point of thinking that because he was beaten and abused that he deserved it. I asked him to picture just some random little boy in his childhood instead of himself. I asked him if those things were horrible, happening to the random little boy, and then I asked him, "What makes them any less horrible because they happened to you?"
The things that happened to him in his childhood should never happen to any child. Little kids should climb trees and ride bikes and run amok and have a great time. They should have someone to kiss their owies when they inevitably get scraped knees and bug bites and all the minor owies that little kids get. They should have adults hugging and kissing them and holding them on their laps and reading them stories. Every child deserves love. No child deserves to be beaten or neglected like he was or sexually assaulted like I was.
What makes me the angriest about the whole thing is how calmly he accepts what happened to him. He has every right to be infuriated that he was cheated of a loving and carefree childhood. But every time he tells me about something else he suffered and I react with shock and suppressed anger, he says, "It's okay." It's not okay. It is majorly not okay. It is not okay that these things happened to him. It's never okay when adults hurt children the way the adults in his life hurt him.
It's never okay.
