Depressed again...

I'm really depressed again right now. I keep having to fight the urge to cut myself and I don't know how much longer I can keep from doing it. I tried to do it earlier today but the knife was too dull to cut through my skin, so it just left a little red mark from where I tried to get it to cut through.

I wish I could just stay in bed and hug my teddy bear and have my honey hold me. That's all I really want to do right now.