Oh boy. What do I do about THIS?

[azdesertrose]

I just found out that one of the chatters (a younger bi man) from the GLBT chatroom has a crush on me.

The problem is, I find him attractive too. He's bright and funny and our senses of humor run in similar channels. He sent me pictures of himself a while back, and I even think he's cute.

But I get the impression from what he said that he wants a relationship, not just something like friends with privileges, and I'm not sure I've got that to offer. I'd have to talk to Cliff about bringing someone else into our relationship. We're not opposed to a polyamorous relationship. In fact, he's talked about wanting another woman permanently in our relationship, so I'd have a woman lover for when I want that, and because he'd enjoy having a F/F/M threesome. He's not as enthused about M/M/F, although he's not opposed to it either.

But Cliff will always come first with me, as far as romantic/sexual love is concerned. (My daughter is at the head of the list for coming first with me period.) And I wonder if I can offer this young man a fair shake when he'd always be in second place.

But he's so smart and funny and sweet. I don't want to hurt his feelings, and I don't want to toy with him either. I wonder what the hell I can do; what can I offer him that won't hurt him?

Comments

[crystalra1ndr0p.livejournal.com]

Did you put anything in your profile stating that you were in a relationship? If you put "Open relationship" things might be harder to explain to him. Maybe you should tell him that you do find him attractive and you like him as a person but since you are so committed to Cliff, you don't feel like you could give him what he is looking for and deserves?

[desertrosedark.livejournal.com]

Well, I emailed him and told him I'd heard he had a crush on me, and made a conditional offer to allow him to be a second in Cliff's and my relationship. (The condition is Cliff's approval, and of course, the young man in question's consent to such an arrangement.)

I've been obsessively checking my email waiting for a reply from him, because I really do like him and find him quite attractive, and I think he'd get along with Cliff quite well too.