azdesertrose | Worry worry worry

Still worried about my suicidal friend. Had a long conversation with him last night, and I'm not worried that he's going to do it any time really soon, but if things don't get better for him and quick, I'll be using my disability back payments to attend his funeral, or visit his grave if I can't make it to the funeral. I can't seem to make him see that his problems do not mean he has to die to make things better and that his death will be a great loss. I tried. Believe me, I tried.

And I'm not going to stop trying.

Also worried about my meds. I only have about a week's worth of Invega left, and I owe my psyhchiatrist money, so I'm not sure if I'll be able to get more. And being off the Invega is BAD FOR ME. I have panic attacks, and within a few days the psychotic symptoms return, the hallucinations and paranoia and stuff. It really sucks. I think I'm going to start taking it every other day to stretch the meds out, because missing it for one day doesn't seem to hurt anything, but about three days and I'm a mess.

And as always, money is a stressor. Hopefully we'll be able with Cliff's next paycheck to pay what I owe my psychiatrist and I can get my meds. I don't know what I'm going to do if we can't. Stretched the grocery budget to its limits. Bleah.

Worry worry worry.