Crazy does not equal stupid

[azdesertrose]

Having just been in a decent hospital, I'd like to rant about the crappy public hospital I was in about two years ago.

Crazy =/= stupid. There are plenty of mentally ill people who are perfectly intelligent and many who are very intelligent. Just because your brain doesn't work quite like everybody else's does not mean you're an idiot.

The public hospital treated all the patients like they were mentally retarded instead of mentally ill. They made no effort to treat the patients like sentient adult human beings. I refuse to go back there. I'll kill myself first, but fortunately I've found a decent hospital with a charity program so I don't have to go in the public hospital when I need to be hospitalized.

When I raised this topic in group at the public hospital, the group facilitator patronized me as if I were a 2-year-old. Thank you very much, I am a grown woman with a B.A. in English and I had a 3.2 GPA on my degree. I'm quite intelligent. I wanted to hit her for treating me like that but I don't go around bitch-slapping people as much as they might need a good bitch-slap.

Yes, I'm crazy. I'm clinically psychotic. I have schizoaffective disorder and when things aren't working right, I see things that aren't there to anybody else, hear voices that no one else hears, feel things crawling on me that aren't really there and smell things no one else smells. I rave and cry and scream for no reason. I get suicidal because the voices tell me that I'm useless and worthless and should kill myself. Sometimes I need someone else to take the reins and steer my life. That does not mean I'm an idiot. It does not mean that I'm stupid. It just means that sometimes I'm not the best person to make decisions for myself. But I have Cliff to make decisions for me when I need someone else to take over for me.

When things are working right, I am perfectly capable of steering my own ship. When my meds are working right, I'm clear-headed, level-headed, and practical. I understand that I will probably need medication for the rest of my life, and I'm okay with that. It's just like a diabetic has to take Metformin or Glucophage to maintain their insulin/sugar balance. I understand that I have to take my medicine every day to keep everything on an even keel. I take responsibility for my own problems.

But I am not stupid, and I do not like being treated like I'm somehow mentally deficient because I'm mentally ill.

Comments

[crystalra1ndr0p.livejournal.com]

I really like this post. I hate it when people treat us with disrespect just because we're different. One of my favorite quotes is something like "Madness and brilliance are often the same."

[desertrosedark.livejournal.com]

Or, as Seneca (Roman philosopher) said, "Nullum magnum ingenium sine mixtura dementia fuit." Translation: There has never been any great talent without an element of madness.