Friends

[azdesertrose]

I hate seeing people in pain, especially people that I've decided to make friends with or people I love. It makes me want to go all Mama-tiger and fix their hurt.

Being a part of the _survivors_ group means that I catch a lot of people in pain, because people usually post to that community when they're hurting, and it makes me want to hug them and tell them that it will be okay.

So many of us survivors of abuse feel like we deserve to be hurt, especially if we were abused in childhood. Sometimes I feel that way, when I have my self-injury thoughts and episodes. It's so hard to feel like you deserve love when the people who were supposed to love you and take care of you hurt you instead.

I have an online friend, Ben, whom I think is a bit psychic because he says he can feel other people's pain just by looking at them. He can't stand being around a lot of people because he feels so much pain coming from all the people, so he lives in the country where he doesn't have to deal with large groups of people the way you have to in a city.

I can feel pain in people's words, and it just makes me want to fix it. It makes me wish I could put some sort of magic spell on them and make them not hurt any more. It also makes me angry at whomever hurt them in the first place.

Maybe it's the motherliness I've always had and that was enhanced by having my daughter, but I wish I could be more help than just saying words of comfort, although I know that just knowing someone cares about your pain helps.

I'm told I give good hugs, that I'm soft and cuddly to hug (although I'd like to be a little less soft and cuddly in body, I could stand to lose a good bit of weight for my health). So this post is a huge hug to any friend of mine who might happen to be in pain. Imagine warm cuddly arms around you holding you close to a warm cuddly body, soft hands stroking your hair, letting you cry if you need to and giving you a tissue to blow your nose with when you need it, and whispering words of comfort and friendship and love.

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