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azdesertroseMy best friend Jen is being handfasted in August. Saturday she picked me up and we went to another friend's house to design her invitations and announcements. (Because of where the ceremonty will take place, she cannot invite everybody she'd like, so some people will receive invitations and some will simply receive announcements. The invitations have details of time and place; the announcements are much shorter.) Her other friend Jo was there, along with a fair few other people.
Jo and Cliff used to see each other. They broke up basically because Cliff wanted more from Jo than she was ready to give. They are not on particularly comfortable terms now, though Cliff just wants her to be happy and would like to be friendly with her.
Her new boyfriend, Gregor, hates Cliff's guts for some reason, and so it makes it difficult for Cliff to even speak to Jo, even in large social situations. (Gregor was also at the gathering on Saturday.)
I have been told that Gregor has no problem with me, but does not associate with me very often because I am Cliff's girlfriend.
I don't exactly dislike Gregor, as I really don't know him that well; he has, however, done things in my presence that tilt the balance of my feelings away from a desire to form friendship. In some ways, he treats Jo quite poorly. I have seen him catch her attention by snapping his fingers at her as if she were a dog. (I don't even summon the dog by snapping my fingers; I call the dog by name, or "puppy" or "pooch" or "buddy".) At the gathering on Saturday, he pelted her with a series of questions about their relationship, like "What day did we meet?" and "What song was playing when we first danced?" and "What movie did we see on our first date?" She couldn't answer any of them, and he laughed and said he had known she wouldn't know any of these answers. It seemed to me like he was trying to humiliate her in front of everyone. I tried to jump to her defense; I said that maybe she didn't know all that trivia, but I'd bet she knew how he took his coffee and what medications he takes at what time of day (he has a lot of medical problems) and a lot of other little day-to-day details about taking care of him. (And she did; she immediately replied with "he doesn't drink coffee, he likes orange juice in the morning" and then a long list of medications and times of day.) His sense of humor runs in rather crude channels, and he seems not to know when to can it. I almost called him Captain Overshare.
When Jen told me about the handfasting, I knew that Cliff and I and Jo and Gregor would all have to be there. Jen wants Jo and me as two of her four attendants, and so our respective men will attend the ceremony.
It makes me nervous. I rather like Jo. She's a bright, funny young lady, she and I have several interests in common, and I wish there weren't this barrier between us because of her former relationship with Cliff. I think we could be friends, if only there weren't that awkwardness, that tension.
In fact, Jo and I were the ones who wrote the invitations; Jen gave us the general idea, I wrote a rough draft, and Jo trimmed it down and refined a few things. (I can be a bit longwinded; you never would have guessed that, would you?)
After the wording of the invitations and announcements was decided upon, Jen printed them and then she and Jo and Melody (who was hosting this little get-together) and I started assembling them. Actually, she and Jo and Mel assembled while I addressed envelopes, it having been decided that I have the best handwriting of the lot of us. (I actually do have fairly nice handwriting, when I slow down and make it pretty, and I can write in block capitals very quickly, which is handy for addressing envelopes that are to be mailed as the USPS's mail-sorting computers LOVE block capitals.) I addressed the envelopes to be mailed in the aforementioned block capitals, and the envelopes to be hand-delivered in a fancy version of my normal best longhand. I couldn't finish the addressing; there were a few people whose addresses we did not have, and one or two whose surnames we didn't have or couldn't remember, but for everyone for whom we had all the necessary information, I addressed the envelopes.
After this was finished, Jen and I stepped outside for a smoke (well, she stepped; I hobbled), and I thanked her for bringing me out; what with my current injuries, I feel a bit useless and am suffering from cabin fever to a certain degree. I told Jen that I was glad to get out of the house, and that it was nice to feel useful and productive. She gave me rather a shocked look and said that of course I'm useful; she didn't know how she'd have gotten the invitations done so quickly without my help, and that I'd done my share of "bridesmaid" duties and then some.
It just felt good to be appreciated. Not that Cliff doesn't appreciate me; he is almost effusive about my cooking, he smiles and kisses me after I've cleaned house, he loves seeing me do domestic things for some reason. (A bit of old-fashionedness in his personality, I'd suppose, but I don't mind doing domestic things, and with him supporting me financially, it's no big deal to keep house for him, as long as he just throws away his own trash, puts his own dirty dishes in the sink, puts his own dirty laundry in the hamper, and takes out the garbage.)
But I hadn't seen Jen in a good while until this weekend. (We also went out to supper with her and Rip Friday evening, but before that it had been over a month since we'd seen them.) I don't know; it just felt good to spend time with her, and it felt good to know that I could help her.
Jo and Cliff used to see each other. They broke up basically because Cliff wanted more from Jo than she was ready to give. They are not on particularly comfortable terms now, though Cliff just wants her to be happy and would like to be friendly with her.
Her new boyfriend, Gregor, hates Cliff's guts for some reason, and so it makes it difficult for Cliff to even speak to Jo, even in large social situations. (Gregor was also at the gathering on Saturday.)
I have been told that Gregor has no problem with me, but does not associate with me very often because I am Cliff's girlfriend.
I don't exactly dislike Gregor, as I really don't know him that well; he has, however, done things in my presence that tilt the balance of my feelings away from a desire to form friendship. In some ways, he treats Jo quite poorly. I have seen him catch her attention by snapping his fingers at her as if she were a dog. (I don't even summon the dog by snapping my fingers; I call the dog by name, or "puppy" or "pooch" or "buddy".) At the gathering on Saturday, he pelted her with a series of questions about their relationship, like "What day did we meet?" and "What song was playing when we first danced?" and "What movie did we see on our first date?" She couldn't answer any of them, and he laughed and said he had known she wouldn't know any of these answers. It seemed to me like he was trying to humiliate her in front of everyone. I tried to jump to her defense; I said that maybe she didn't know all that trivia, but I'd bet she knew how he took his coffee and what medications he takes at what time of day (he has a lot of medical problems) and a lot of other little day-to-day details about taking care of him. (And she did; she immediately replied with "he doesn't drink coffee, he likes orange juice in the morning" and then a long list of medications and times of day.) His sense of humor runs in rather crude channels, and he seems not to know when to can it. I almost called him Captain Overshare.
When Jen told me about the handfasting, I knew that Cliff and I and Jo and Gregor would all have to be there. Jen wants Jo and me as two of her four attendants, and so our respective men will attend the ceremony.
It makes me nervous. I rather like Jo. She's a bright, funny young lady, she and I have several interests in common, and I wish there weren't this barrier between us because of her former relationship with Cliff. I think we could be friends, if only there weren't that awkwardness, that tension.
In fact, Jo and I were the ones who wrote the invitations; Jen gave us the general idea, I wrote a rough draft, and Jo trimmed it down and refined a few things. (I can be a bit longwinded; you never would have guessed that, would you?)
After the wording of the invitations and announcements was decided upon, Jen printed them and then she and Jo and Melody (who was hosting this little get-together) and I started assembling them. Actually, she and Jo and Mel assembled while I addressed envelopes, it having been decided that I have the best handwriting of the lot of us. (I actually do have fairly nice handwriting, when I slow down and make it pretty, and I can write in block capitals very quickly, which is handy for addressing envelopes that are to be mailed as the USPS's mail-sorting computers LOVE block capitals.) I addressed the envelopes to be mailed in the aforementioned block capitals, and the envelopes to be hand-delivered in a fancy version of my normal best longhand. I couldn't finish the addressing; there were a few people whose addresses we did not have, and one or two whose surnames we didn't have or couldn't remember, but for everyone for whom we had all the necessary information, I addressed the envelopes.
After this was finished, Jen and I stepped outside for a smoke (well, she stepped; I hobbled), and I thanked her for bringing me out; what with my current injuries, I feel a bit useless and am suffering from cabin fever to a certain degree. I told Jen that I was glad to get out of the house, and that it was nice to feel useful and productive. She gave me rather a shocked look and said that of course I'm useful; she didn't know how she'd have gotten the invitations done so quickly without my help, and that I'd done my share of "bridesmaid" duties and then some.
It just felt good to be appreciated. Not that Cliff doesn't appreciate me; he is almost effusive about my cooking, he smiles and kisses me after I've cleaned house, he loves seeing me do domestic things for some reason. (A bit of old-fashionedness in his personality, I'd suppose, but I don't mind doing domestic things, and with him supporting me financially, it's no big deal to keep house for him, as long as he just throws away his own trash, puts his own dirty dishes in the sink, puts his own dirty laundry in the hamper, and takes out the garbage.)
But I hadn't seen Jen in a good while until this weekend. (We also went out to supper with her and Rip Friday evening, but before that it had been over a month since we'd seen them.) I don't know; it just felt good to spend time with her, and it felt good to know that I could help her.
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no subject
Date: 2006-12-20 05:36 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-12-20 11:00 pm (UTC)