Trapped

Apr. 9th, 2006 12:57 am
azdesertrose: (Default)
[personal profile] azdesertrose
The Wellbutrin is working well enough that I can't sleep. My heart keeps racing every time I try. I can't sleep.

And it's not working well enough to make the thoughts go away. I still feel worthless, useless, and any other negative adjective you care to apply. I still believe that there's no way out. I will never be okay. I'm just too broken to ever be okay. Nothing I've ever done has gotten me out for long; I always fall back to this place, and I'm tired.

If I had enough money for a motel room, I'd have already left the house and gone to take my pills. But I can't let my family find me.

I can't ever let them know how bad it is; they don't believe me, or they think I'm being melodramatic and they're tired of trying to help me anyway, because I can't be helped. There's no way out.

I can't ever let my daughter see me like this; she can never EVER know what I am, how damaged and disturbed I am. There's no way out.

I was broken too long ago to be fixed; it's just too late for me.

If I can make it until Friday, I should be able to have enough money to mail away the things I don't want my family to find. I can't fight any more. I just can't.
This account has disabled anonymous posting.
If you don't have an account you can create one now.
HTML doesn't work in the subject.
More info about formatting

Profile

azdesertrose: (Default)
azdesertrose

2025

S M T W T F S

Most Popular Tags

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags
Page generated Jul. 25th, 2025 08:17 am
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios