(no subject)

Cliff is sick. He's got a stomach virus so he's in bed resting. When he wakes up I'm going to make him drink some water and see if he can keep that down. He needs fluids after all the throwing up and diarrhea he's had. Poor honey.

I'm okay, just on my period so I'm a little crampy and cranky.

Mini-me was supposed to come over today but she's sick too so we're going to put off hanging out until this weekend.

I guess that's all that's really going on around here. That, and waiting for SS to come through. *fingers crossed*

FUCK!

Cliff lost his shift. Only because one of the dispatchers called to ask if he knew he was scheduled tomorrow does he even know this, or know that he's supposed to work tomorrow. They're trying to fire him.

He says he's going to look for another job.

I don't know what we're going to do. We're barely making it on what he made on the shift. How the hell are we going to manage on less?

I just took a Klonopin but I'm just barely not having a panic attack over this. I don't know what we're going to do.

I'm not pissed off any more.

Just depressed.

I wish Cliff hadn't taken away my razor blades. I want to cut so badly right now. I feel like this is all my fault. If I could only be better, somehow, this wouldn't be happening to us.

I know that's crazy thinking but it's how I feel.