A general update

So I'm still sore. The pain is mostly in my back now, not my legs, but occasionally I get pain shooting down one leg or the other.

I'm going to have to figure out a way to see a doctor about this and find out exactly what's causing the sciatica, but I'd bet money that I've got a bone spur on my spine. I've got them in my hands and feet, so why not my spine?

The only truly comfortable position for me right now is lying down with my knees curled. My mom told me to sleep on my back with pillows under my knees but that makes the pain worse, so I don't think that's a very good idea. (My mom has a herniated disc in her back so she's no stranger to back pain and back-related leg pain. She had to stop driving the car that's now mine because shifting and working the clutch hurt her leg too much.)

Icing my back still feels wonderful. It numbs the pain. I wish I could do it more often than every four hours, but I was told every four hours, so that's what I'll do.

What amazes me is that the narcotic pain drugs I'm taking are not making me high; usually they make me feel a little loopy even if I'm in pain. (I don't take narcotics if I'm not in a lot of pain.)

CC is keeping me company. I think he knows I'm in pain. Tessa comes and checks on me between naps and feeding her face at the food bowl. Sweetie Pie is also keeping me company, napping in an empty box here in the computer room.

Med problem solved

My psychiatrist finally called me back. She's going to call in a script for Paxil, which I've never tried before but is supposed to be good for depression and anxiety, so hopefully that will be good for me. We shall see, anyway.

Tomorrow I try the Zyprexa for my hallucinations and paranoia. I took my last Invega this morning, but it says to take the Zyprexa at night because it can cause you to get sleepy.

I feel like a human chemistry set with all this tinkering with meds, trying to find things that help me that I can afford to take.

In other news, I'm afraid that someone in the _survivors_ group wants to commit suicide. I'm trying to help her, but I don't think I'm doing a very good job. She seems really determined to end it all. I wish I could help her, but it has to be her choice to keep living.

Good night

Well, as soon as it's time to take the ice pack off my back, I'm headed to bed.

I'm still worried about the person in _survivors_ who seems very suicidal, and she hasn't replied to anything in about three hours. I really hope she didn't hurt herself.

I'm actually a little high from the pain meds now. I'm not sure why I suddenly started feeling high, unless the pain is lessening somewhat so the drugs are making me high.

Cliff told me on the phone (he's at work today) that he'll be on the computer a lot this weekend while he's off work, so I may not be around much for the next two days. I'll see if I can squeak in some computer time while he's sleeping or something. I'll probably spend most of the weekend watching movies or something though.