New therapist...
Mar. 18th, 2008 04:56 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
azdesertroseI just saw the counselor at Jewish Community Services for the second time, and she gave me an assignment. (I also found out that she's a little more than a year younger than I am, older than I thought, but in the right ballpark.)
We were kind of cleaning up from last session, getting the rest of my history on paper for her, and she wanted to know what I wanted out of therapy.
All I really want is to be stable. I want to not have to go in the hospital every six months. I want to go back to school, but I won't go back to school until the disability comes through (won't be able to afford it without the additional income). I also want to be free of hospitalizations for at least a year before I try to go back to school. I'm using the hospital as a gauge of my stability; if I'm not suicidal for a whole year, then I'm ready to go back to school and be there every day and do my assignments and generally do it right. I want my lovely little handfasting with Cliff with our family and friends in attendance. I want the pretty Celtic knotwork engagement ring and wedding bands we've picked out. I want to see my daughter graduate high school and go off to college and graduate college, and maybe go to graduate school if that's what she wants to do. (She's been through a few dozen possible careers; no telling what she'll eventually decide to do with her life.) I want to finish my wolf-family cross-stitch project and do the blue dragon that my friend Mike asked me to stitch for him because he likes dragons. I want to finish my novel and try to get it published. I want to feel whole, not damaged. I know better than to think that I'll ever be fully healed from the abuse my father inflicted on me, but I want to be as whole as I can be.
I think that last statement sums it up; I want to be as whole as I can be.
We were kind of cleaning up from last session, getting the rest of my history on paper for her, and she wanted to know what I wanted out of therapy.
All I really want is to be stable. I want to not have to go in the hospital every six months. I want to go back to school, but I won't go back to school until the disability comes through (won't be able to afford it without the additional income). I also want to be free of hospitalizations for at least a year before I try to go back to school. I'm using the hospital as a gauge of my stability; if I'm not suicidal for a whole year, then I'm ready to go back to school and be there every day and do my assignments and generally do it right. I want my lovely little handfasting with Cliff with our family and friends in attendance. I want the pretty Celtic knotwork engagement ring and wedding bands we've picked out. I want to see my daughter graduate high school and go off to college and graduate college, and maybe go to graduate school if that's what she wants to do. (She's been through a few dozen possible careers; no telling what she'll eventually decide to do with her life.) I want to finish my wolf-family cross-stitch project and do the blue dragon that my friend Mike asked me to stitch for him because he likes dragons. I want to finish my novel and try to get it published. I want to feel whole, not damaged. I know better than to think that I'll ever be fully healed from the abuse my father inflicted on me, but I want to be as whole as I can be.
I think that last statement sums it up; I want to be as whole as I can be.
