resuscitation? 28 January 2006
Jan. 29th, 2006 11:00 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
azdesertrosehope dies a slow death
it has to be struck
more times than one can count
it has to be pushed down
humiliated
bitten scratched clawed
cut slashed
thrown against one brick wall too many
but it dies
and how does one revive it
when tomorrow is something to endure
when you're surprised you've lived this long
when there is no light at the end of the tunnel
when it seems that nothing you can do
will make anything any better
how does one revive hope
when everything you've tried has failed
when you can't find the motivation
to stop destroying yourself
because you don't believe you'll live
long enough to face the consequences
how does one revive hope
when sleep is a temporary relief
that you wish would last forever
when waking up fills you with dread
when you plan your ending
knowing that even in that, you fail
how does one revive hope
when the best ending you can see
is a quiet death
when you can see no way out
of this dark canyon
when life is not life, but a hell of your own making
how does one revive hope
when every possible path seems like a trap
when any decision seems like a disaster in the making
when you can smile and laugh
and no one sees what
is hiding beneath the mask
how does one revive hope
when anything you can say
when the greatest honesty you can manage
sounds self-centered or self-pitying
when the way out is blocked
by the words of those who do not know this canyon
how does one revive hope
when the demons have you down
bleeding, cut, bruised, broken
your armor slashed to uselessness
your weapons shattered or out of reach
your defenses utterly destroyed
how does one revive hope
when those who do not know
tell you that you can shake it off somehow
that it's all in your head
that it must be your fault
eventually you believe it
how does one revive hope
when the deepest part of you
believes you don't deserve happiness
that you could never attain contentment anyway
that peace is a foreign country
with its gates barred to the likes of you
how does one revive hope
when the hardest truth
is that you know your gifts
but believe them useless or worthless
and the world confirms that belief
because every attempt to use them has failed
how does one revive hope
when the pain inside is only relieved
by screaming thrashing scratching
ranting crying fits
that look ridiculous and feel worse
once they're over
how does one revive hope
when no one sees the death in your eyes
when no one notices the emptiness of your smile
when no one hears the hollowness of your laugh
when no light shines
when no sound emerges from your scream
how does one revive hope
when in some places
you're crazy for even thinking this way
and in others
you're not for real if you have no visible scars
and in still others you just want attention
how does one revive hope
hope dies a painful death
tortured beaten bashed in
it takes a long time but it dies
gasping and panting and clinging
and lying telling you there is a way out
how does one revive hope
when your soul has hit one brick wall too many
how does one revive hope
it has to be struck
more times than one can count
it has to be pushed down
humiliated
bitten scratched clawed
cut slashed
thrown against one brick wall too many
but it dies
and how does one revive it
when tomorrow is something to endure
when you're surprised you've lived this long
when there is no light at the end of the tunnel
when it seems that nothing you can do
will make anything any better
how does one revive hope
when everything you've tried has failed
when you can't find the motivation
to stop destroying yourself
because you don't believe you'll live
long enough to face the consequences
how does one revive hope
when sleep is a temporary relief
that you wish would last forever
when waking up fills you with dread
when you plan your ending
knowing that even in that, you fail
how does one revive hope
when the best ending you can see
is a quiet death
when you can see no way out
of this dark canyon
when life is not life, but a hell of your own making
how does one revive hope
when every possible path seems like a trap
when any decision seems like a disaster in the making
when you can smile and laugh
and no one sees what
is hiding beneath the mask
how does one revive hope
when anything you can say
when the greatest honesty you can manage
sounds self-centered or self-pitying
when the way out is blocked
by the words of those who do not know this canyon
how does one revive hope
when the demons have you down
bleeding, cut, bruised, broken
your armor slashed to uselessness
your weapons shattered or out of reach
your defenses utterly destroyed
how does one revive hope
when those who do not know
tell you that you can shake it off somehow
that it's all in your head
that it must be your fault
eventually you believe it
how does one revive hope
when the deepest part of you
believes you don't deserve happiness
that you could never attain contentment anyway
that peace is a foreign country
with its gates barred to the likes of you
how does one revive hope
when the hardest truth
is that you know your gifts
but believe them useless or worthless
and the world confirms that belief
because every attempt to use them has failed
how does one revive hope
when the pain inside is only relieved
by screaming thrashing scratching
ranting crying fits
that look ridiculous and feel worse
once they're over
how does one revive hope
when no one sees the death in your eyes
when no one notices the emptiness of your smile
when no one hears the hollowness of your laugh
when no light shines
when no sound emerges from your scream
how does one revive hope
when in some places
you're crazy for even thinking this way
and in others
you're not for real if you have no visible scars
and in still others you just want attention
how does one revive hope
hope dies a painful death
tortured beaten bashed in
it takes a long time but it dies
gasping and panting and clinging
and lying telling you there is a way out
how does one revive hope
when your soul has hit one brick wall too many
how does one revive hope
