hiding 10 November 2005

[azdesertrose]

i wonder why
it seems that when i get upset
everyone gets upset at me

as if i am supposed to be
an island of calm
in everyone else's tempestuous sea

my family never liked it
the men get embarrassed
and mother acts as though emotion is beneath her

my friends i suppose
are too accustomed
to the public me

and when the private me
dares to show her face
dares to cry

everyone else runs to hide
or gets angry at me
or turns away

i never claimed to be
easy to deal with
but this is why

i feel that i can never show
anything to anyone
because no one likes it

because no one likes
who i am
when i am not smiling