azdesertrose (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
azdesertrose) wrote2008-12-22 04:39 pm
azdesertrose) wrote2008-12-22 04:39 pm
Ugh.
Cliff seems to be trying to change his mind about kicking me out, but this is about the fifth time he's told me to get out. I can only take being told to fuck off so many times, no matter how much I love somebody.
Basically, the problem is that he's jealous of Nicholas and the time I spend with Nicholas. But what I tried to tell him is that Nicholas actually acts like he's interested in me. Cliff just wants me to be in the same room but not actually talk to me or pay attention to me. Why shouldn't I prefer to be with somebody who actually wants to talk to me?
I'm thinking about not going back on the Invega. Now that I'm over the withdrawals for the most part, I'm not having any hallucinations or paranoia, so I'm wondering why I need to take it.
Nicholas and I are looking at getting an apartment with Aysha, his other young lady. I think it will be better this way.
I still want to cry a lot, but it feels more like grief for something that's over.
Basically, the problem is that he's jealous of Nicholas and the time I spend with Nicholas. But what I tried to tell him is that Nicholas actually acts like he's interested in me. Cliff just wants me to be in the same room but not actually talk to me or pay attention to me. Why shouldn't I prefer to be with somebody who actually wants to talk to me?
I'm thinking about not going back on the Invega. Now that I'm over the withdrawals for the most part, I'm not having any hallucinations or paranoia, so I'm wondering why I need to take it.
Nicholas and I are looking at getting an apartment with Aysha, his other young lady. I think it will be better this way.
I still want to cry a lot, but it feels more like grief for something that's over.