Feeling very full of despair

[azdesertrose]

I feel like nobody wants to talk to me or be near me.

I would really like to hurt myself in some fashion. I've been fighting off the urge to cut for days. I wish I could smoke a cigarette but I can't do that either.

I'm feeling kind of mildly suicidal. The thought of killing myself kind of idly crosses my mind from time to time, like everybody would be better off if I were dead. I don't think I need to go to the hospital just yet. I'm not looking for something to overdose on or poison myself with. I just feel like I'm unloved and unlovable and like nobody wants me around.

Comments

[desertrosedark.livejournal.com]

Thanks. I'm more or less always logged into AIM and Yahoo! Messenger unless I'm in bed, so I'd be glad of the company if you felt like logging in and talking to me.