:(

[azdesertrose]

I feel like I can't cope any more.

No matter what I do, somebody is angry with me. I've mentioned feeling wrong-footed with Cliff all the time, and now Nicholas is mad at me about my smoking.

I feel like I can't calm down at all. Hot baths don't help, the Klonopin only helps if I take three or four of them, smoking helps for a little while.

I just want to give up and quit trying to make anybody happy because I'm constantly failing at it any way.

Comments

[dingdongdead.livejournal.com]

have you tried chewing the klonopin? that makes it work better for me.

I'm going out on a limb here.....

[karmic-serenity.livejournal.com]

If Cliff is your master, he needs to be looking out for YOUR interests as much as you look out for his. And regardless of the dynamics of your relationship, you have to take care of you first. And I very much think this is a time you need to step back, let the boys take care of themselves and focus on you and your needs. Hopefully they'll get the message and step up and help you the way you've helped them.

*big, tight hugs*