azdesertrose: (Harry/Hermione)
I am going to see "Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince" tonight, because unlike every other HP freak on the planet, I have yet to see the damn movie. :)

As any of my Trimarian friends can tell by the fact that I'm posting now, I was not able to get my ducks in a row for Coronation. Damn. I really wanted to go, but no $$$$.

Mom is doing quite well, getting her energy back and generally feeling much better. Mini-me is having issues in school, largely having to do with asshattery from (mostly male) classmates and what may be a misunderstanding with a teacher. Bill is ornery as ever.

I am attempting to get my ducks in a row in (mostly) non-financial ways. More on that later.
azdesertrose: (Default)
Well, [ profile] rainbowdragon77 fussed at me in chat for not updating, so I'm just going to ramble to let y'all know I'm still alive.

I'm off four of my five meds, so I feel a bit messed up and weird right now, which is largely why I haven't been updating. I don't feel like my thoughts are as organized as they could be, and I prefer to feel like I've got something to say when I post. I'm out of my birth control pills, my Paxil, my Buspar, and I'm rationing my Klonopin for when I really need them until I can afford to refill my scripts. I was also taking my Invega every other day in an attempt to not run completely out of it, but this morning I picked up more samples of it from Dr. Owusu's office, so now I can take it daily again like I'm supposed to.

I'm also sort of waiting for my period to start. I've been tired and achy in my back and lower abdomen like my period is coming on for several days, but no sign of Aunt Flo. I don't think I'm pregnant; off birth control, my cycles are HIGHLY irregular.

As for Nicholas, we're basically waiting for him to do what he needs to do in North Carolina in order to be able to move down here to stay. He and Cliff are pushing me to play WoW, which doesn't really interest me all that much so far, but no telling. Maybe if I can ever motivate myself to get beyond the low-level stuff (which I find a bit boring), it'll get interesting. I just wish he were here. I worry about him up there with his family.

I've been on a folk music kick lately. I'm trying to teach myself "Rocky Road to Dublin" but that song is so damn fast. I'm also trying to learn "Follow Me Up To Carlow" for SCA events, because that is actually a period song about a battle in Ireland during Elizabeth I's reign. Again, damn fast song, and it's hard to get the lyrics out clearly, especially with all the funky Celtic names.

Anyway, I'm still alive, so no panicking. :)
azdesertrose: (Default)
I was lying in bed wishing we'd won the lottery draw tonight and tumbling around in my head what the hell I'd do with that much money anyway.

Obviously, I'd pay off all my debts and make sure family was taken care of and replace my poor car. But beyond that, what in hell would I do with a metric shit-ton of money.

Well, hell, I'm a SCAdian. Clearly, I would build the perfect SCA site.

So what does the perfect SCA site consist of?

Well, first off, a castle. But this is Florida, so that sucker would be air-conditioned. And the entire site would be wheelchair-accessible. And trash cans and ashtrays everywhere so people can keep the site tidy, as most SCAdians will. An air-conditioned and heated gate/reg cottage at the entrance to the site.

Ground floor: Great Hall for holding court and feast. Massive commercial kitchen with every imaginable cooking toy. Greenhouse off the kitchen with every cooking herb you could ever want. Suites for the King, Queen, Prince, Princess, and a Baronial suite for any Baron/Baroness of any barony holding an event on site. Laundry facility for washing the table linens and for the populace to use (because any SCAdian with kids knows that some stains just do not come out if they sit for a day or so until you get home to your own washing machine and dryer).

First floor: (yes, I'm doing this European style) Classrooms and meeting rooms. Special rooms for scribal, textile arts, heraldry, and martial arts with libraries and seating for classes and/or meetings. A meeting room for the peerages to hold peerage meetings and a meeting room for associates' meetings.

Floors two through six: One hundred suites per floor, consisting of two queen-size beds and a full bath. That should sleep any family, up to six people per suite if you throw an air mattress on the floor.

Floors seven through nine: Personal living quarters for myself and my family, plus a few select friends who would be invited to live with us in the event we had more money than we knew what to do with.

Rooftop: Greenhouse with every herb I want, plus the veggies we eat.

A parking garage that will accommodate 1000 cars plus trailers.

For the authenti-Nazis and those who just plain like to camp: say 40-50 camping sites with space for 10 large tents each, with air-conditioned and heated wheelchair-accessible bath houses with sinks for washing your hands and brushing your teeth, plus vanities for people who are just in there to make sure their hair looks okay, and on-site charcoal grill (provide your own charcoal) and outdoor gas stove.

Paved roads for cars and paved paths for foot, wheelchair, and stroller traffic.

An air-conditioned and heated flea market for merchants' row.

A separate RV area for those who like to camp that way, with electric, water, and waste-water hookups for the RVs. That would have to be hidden by a grove of trees for the sake of authenticity.

Lyst fields for heavy weapons and light weapons, with space for pavilions and raised seating beyond the pavilion space for people who just like to watch the fighting. Air-conditioned bath houses at each lyst field, with just toilets and sinks and vanities and a room with three refrigerators, one for water, one for Gatorade, and one for fighter chow.

A combat archery lyst field, also appointed with its own little bath house and seating.

An equestrian space, also with the little bath house and stables for the horsies.

Space for the coursing hounds with kennels and a bath house.

Okay, SCAdians...what have I forgotten?
azdesertrose: (WTF?)
I am so tired.

I had a good day today. I went to an SCA event with Cliff and my daughter, and I had a good time. I spent most of the day with the other scribal-type people doing calligraphy, and we left when I got tired.

And boy am I tired.

I was resting in bed trying to go to sleep (yes, this early, because I'm that tired), and I started thinking (again) about killing myself.

Why will these thoughts not leave me alone? It seems like every time I get quiet enough, the thoughts come into my head, talking to me, telling me I should sleep forever.

Sometimes I think that if I do end up killing myself, it will be to get away from the thoughts of killing myself. Ironic, wot?

I'm just writing whatever comes to mind now, trying to empty my brain so that maybe I can sleep. I am way beyond tired; my body is sore from walking and driving. I kept stiffening up while I was driving, and I'm not sure why. I wish to hell Cliff would drive sometimes, but I'm always the one who drives.

Cliff and my daughter napped during the drive there and back; I wish I could have.

Maybe the thoughts are coming because I'm overtired. I don't know. I just wish they would stop.

It just sucks that I had such a nice day and it has to end with these stupid suicidal thoughts. They just won't go the hell away.

I'm going to try to sleep again; I think I'll put on some quiet music to help me sleep. Maybe music will keep the thoughts away.
azdesertrose: (Default)
I spent this weekend at an SCA event; it was Fall Coronation. I wish I could say I'd had fun; SCA events are supposed to be fun. But the weather sucked, my feet hurt, and I had a bad day on Saturday, insofar as my mood swings and hallucinations.

One good thing did happen; we'd originally planned to sleep in a tent on site, but when the weather got so nasty, we left to find a room somewhere. There's a cute little motel in Umatilla (the site is in Ocala National Forest, so Umatilla is fairly nearby) which has what they call a two-bedroom suite. It's bigger than this apartment, and could sleep seven people with the furniture it has, nine or eleven with air mattresses. So, from here on out, when we go to kingdom events at Camp Ocala, we're reserving that suite and splitting it with whomever wants to go in with us; if we split it between four couples, it's only about $25 per night.

I did get complimented on my hair and my braiding/plaiting abilities, which was nice.

But now, as ever after an SCA event, I'm tired.

I've decided that I'm not going to any more events until my feet heal fully and until my medications are situated and I'm more or less stable. Hallucinations just don't add anything good to anything, much less something that was supposed to be fun.

We grilled out last night, seeing as it was Labor Day. I made hamburgers, Beau made steak kebabs, and we threw some hot dogs and sausages on the grill, too. That was kind of nice, until people started drinking too much and acting ugly.

We paid the first month's payment on the new place; we've got to pay the deposit when Cliff gets paid again. And *groan* we may end up taking Cliff's mom and sister with us, until one of the subsidized places comes through for them. Bleah. His mom I can deal with, most of the time. His sister I'm going to murder if she doesn't learn to shut her trap every once in a while. Cliff's Aunt Diane has apparently been helping them out for a while, and wants to be sure they'll be somewhere they can definitely afford. Evidently, Nancy has a tendency to spend her mother's money to the point that bills don't get paid. *sigh* If only that woman had a fucking spine...

Cliff had to reformat the hard drive, so I've been trying to reinstall our favorites, but that is SOOOOOOOOO tedious. I also realized that I lost my photo editing program, and the CD is at my parents' house. Bleah.

I think I'm going to go take a nap, and then finish the favorites.


azdesertrose: (Default)

October 2012

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