azdesertrose: (Default)
Originally posted by [ profile] noodledays at In Memory of Matthew Shepard
Originally posted by [ profile] myrrhmade at In Memory of Matthew Shepard
Originally posted by [ profile] ladyhadhafang at In memory of Matthew Shepard
Originally posted by [ profile] lijahlover at In memory of Matthew Shepard
Originally posted by [ profile] kerrsmith2306 at In memory of Matthew Shepard

THE ULTIMATE SILENCE ~ October 12th, 1998

Listen to the mustn'ts, child.
Listen to the don'ts.
Listen to the shouldn'ts,
The impossibles, the won'ts.
Listen to the never haves,
Then listen close to me ...
Anything can happen, child.
Anything can be.

~ Shel Silverstein

Fourteen years ago today, Matthew Shepard was murdered for being homosexual.

What will you do to end the silence?

For background information check out the HBO movie "The Laramie Project"

Please read ... )

This is particularly apropos today. I spent most of the day out at our LGBT Pride Parade.

Matthew, you are not forgotten! Never!
azdesertrose: (Default)
Originally posted by [ profile] dr_is_in at Copied via quite a few other places.....not sure of the original source...
*I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.

*I am the person who is afraid of telling his loving Christian parents he loves another male.

*I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transgender woman.

*I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.

*We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.

*I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.

*I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.

*I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.

*I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.

*We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.

*I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.

*I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.

*I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.

*I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.

*I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.

*I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.

*I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transgender.

*I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I did not have to always deal with society hating me.

*I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.

*I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.

Re-post this if you believe homophobia/transphobia is wrong. Please do your part to end it.

I think I've posted this before, but it bears repeating.
azdesertrose: (Default)
Originally posted by [ profile] neo_prodigy at Spirit Day

It’s been decided. On October 20th, 2010, we will wear purple in honor of the 6 gay boys who committed suicide in recent weeks/months due to homophobic abuse in their homes and/or at their schools. Purple represents Spirit on the LGBTQ flag and that’s exactly what we’d like all of you to have with you: spirit. Please know that times will get better and that you will meet people who will love you and respect you for who you are, no matter your sexuality. Please wear purple on October 20th. Tell your friends, family, co-workers, neighbors and schools.

RIP Tyler Clementi, Seth Walsh (top)
RIP Justin Aaberg, Raymond Chase (middle)
RIP Asher Brown and Billy Lucas. (bottom)

REBLOG to spread a message of love, unity and peace.

I think this is so important. These young men's lives MEANT something, damn it, and so do the lives of the young people who still struggle with homophobic bullying. So wear purple on October 20.

Edited to change graphic to something that doesn't use pictures without permission.
azdesertrose: (Default)
Cross-posted from Human Equality

I got involved in a discussion on a message board that had ranged into same-sex marriage. One commenter said that her husband wishes "gays would keep their sex life in the privacy of their own bedrooms. What he finds most offensive is the militant homosexual-rights activist who screams in his face something like, 'I'm queer, I'm here, and you have to accept me!' He doesn't go around advertising his sexuality, and he doesn't want to hear about theirs either. I can agree with him on that point. Whether it's gay or straight, sex belongs in private, where it's nobody else's business, and no couple of any orientation should be bringing it out in public."

I don't think too many people, gay, straight, or somewhere in between, want to have sex in public. What non-straight people do want is the ability to walk down the street holding hands or arms-around-waists with their partner and not be subject to open hostility, or to be able to marry their partner (with all the attendant societal upsides and downsides of legal marriage), or to exchange a hug and a kiss when one picks the other up at the airport, or any of a zillion other normal interactions between adults who love each other just like any other adult human being. I don't see what's so wrong with that.

I know a lesbian couple who've been together nearly as long as my mom and my stepdad (which is to say well over 20 years), and a gay couple who've been together for nearly 20 years. Why shouldn't they be able to get married? Why shouldn't they be each other's legal next-of-kin in case of emergency?

And if you want to get Biblical, the meaning of marriage has changed SEVERAL times since the Bible was written.

12 Biblical Principles of Marriage

1. Marriage consists of one man and one or more women. (Gen 4:19, 4:23, 26:34, 28:9, 29:26-30, 30:26, 31:17, 32:22, 36:2, 36:10, 37:2, Ex. 21:10, Judges 8:30, 1 Sam 1:2, 25:43, 27:3, 30:5, 30:18, 2 Sam 2:2, 3:2-5, 1 Chron 3:1-3, 4:5, 8:8, 14:3, 2 Chron 11:21, 13:21, 24:3).

2. Nothing prevents a man from taking on concubines in addition to the wife or wives he may already have. (Gen 25:6, Judges 8:31, 2 Sam 5:13, 1 Kings 11:3, 1 Chron 3:9, 2 Chron 11:21, Dan 5:2-3).

3. A man might chose any woman he wants for his wife (Gen 6:2, Deut 21:11), provided only that she is not already another man's wife (Lev 18:14-16, Deut. 22:30) or his [half-]sister (Lev 18:11, 20:17), nor the mother (Lev 20:14) or the sister (Lev 18:18) of a woman who is already his wife. The concept of a woman giving her consent to being married is foreign to the Biblical mindset.

4. If a woman cannot be proven to be a virgin at the time of marriage, she shall be stoned. (Deut 22:13-21).

5. A rapist must marry his victim (Ex. 22:16, Deut. 22:28-29) - unless she was already a fiancee, in which case he should be put to death if he raped her in the country, but both of them killed if he raped her in town. (Deut. 22:23-27).

6. If a man dies childless, his brother must marry the widow. (Gen 38:6-10, Deut 25:5-10, Mark 12:19, Luke 20:28).

7. Women marry the man of their father's choosing. (Gen. 24:4, Josh.15:16-17, Judges 1:12-13, 12:9, 21:1, 1 Sam 17:25, 18:19, 1 Kings 2:21, 1 Chron 2:35, Jer 29:6, Dan 11:17).

8. Women are the property of their father until married, and their husband after that. (Ex. 20:17, 22:17, Deut. 22:24, Mat 22:25).

9. The value of a woman might be approximately seven years' work. (Gen 29:14-30).

10. Inter-faith marriages are prohibited. (Gen 24:3, 28:1, 28:6, Num 25:1-9, Ezra 9:12, Neh 10:30, 2 Cor 6:14).

11. Divorce is forbidden. (Deut 22:19, Matt 5:32, 19:9, Mark 10:9-12, Luke 16:18, Rom 7:2, 1 Cor 7:10-11, 7:39).

12. Better to not get married at all - although marriage is not a sin. (Matt 19:10, I Cor 7:1, 7:27-28, 7:32-34, 7:38).

How many of those rules do present-day Judeo-Christians advocate? These rules are so violently misogynistic that it defies description.

Then they need to STFU about legally defining marriage as "one man, one woman," because the Bible says so.

The only Biblical reference anyone gave me for that meme of "The Bible teaches that marriage equals one man and one woman" was this: For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. (Gen 2:24)

Okay, yeah, that speaks of marriage as being one man and one woman, but it says nothing to the effect that "This is the way it was, is, and ever shall be."

My point being, A WHOLE LOT of what the Bible has to say about marriage not only demeans women to the status of property at best, but sounds more like the transfer of said property than the union of two people who wish to make a lifetime commitment of love. And if two people who wish to make a lifetime commitment of love just happen to have the same genitalia, who really gives a shit?

I know who: those asshats who feel like it's a personal insult and a sign of the breakdown of civilization as we know it that they have to acknowledge the humanity of anyone who doesn't fit into their WASP, hetero, cisgendered, etc. world.
azdesertrose: (Default)
I have gotten into a discussion on one of my message boards about same-sex marriage.

I haven't had this much fun in a long time.

It seems like nobody can give a decent rebuttal to anything I've said in favor of same-sex marriage.

One poster raised the tired old "the Bible says so" argument; I found a long list of other things the Bible has said are acceptable conditions of marriage, with citations for chapter and verse (amongst other atrocities, that the punishment for rape is that the rapist must marry his victim, unless they were already engaged, in which case they would both be executed if he raped her in town, and he would be executed if he raped her in the country, but in any case, she would no longer be marriageable, and that a woman is her father's property until she marries and her husband's property thereafter). She was able to come up with one quote that says a husband should cleave unto his wife upon marriage and thereafter, but nothing to say that marriage equals one man and one woman.

Another poster put up that bullshit of "I don't mind gay people but they can't be gay [i.e. touch each other in any way at all] in front of me." I jumped all over that, too, with the fact that no one cares if a straight couple makes out on a park bench, but a gay couple who dare to so much as touch each other in public are often subject to horrible insults at the very least.

Someone else protested "in-your-face militant gay rights activists." I said that without "in-your-face militant" feminists, women would still not have the legal right to vote, and husbands could still legally beat and rape their wives. I got a response about Dr. King advocating non-violence, to which I asked for examples of violent gay rights activism. No reply.

Funny how the bullshit melts in the rain of facts. :)
azdesertrose: (Default)
So I may have mentioned that Nicholas is black and Cliff and I are white, and that this may cause me some issues with my parents, more specifically my stepdad.

My stepdad is on most topics a really awesome person, but he's got a real blind spot when it comes to black folk. He grew up during segregation, and he absorbed that idea set that black people are somehow worth less than whites. He tried to tell me one time that the black people of his youth were not as clean as white people. (Of the people I've personally known well enough to be informed of their hygiene habits, the black folk outdo the whites on personal care by leaps and bounds.)

I also have to face up to some racist things I've done myself, with my heart in the right place. I told Mini-me one time when she was in middle school that she shouldn't let Bill know she was dating a black kid. I was trying to save her a huge confrontation with Bill, because it would have become one. As it transpired, she broke up with the young man before my stepdad found out about it anyway. But when I introduce her to Nicholas, I'm going to have to face up to my own hypocrisy because no way in hell is she not going to call me on it.

I really try not to be racist. I try to judge people on their merits, not their ethnicity. I try not to let things that people can't control about themselves color my estimation of them, and no one gets to pick what ethnicity they're born into. I myself am a descendant of people who were judged inferior because of the color of their skin and subjected to what comes damn near genocide. (I'm part Cherokee.)

I discussed this with Nicholas and I'm fairly sure I offended him. I didn't mean to. I was trying to be honest about the internal struggle I'm having between accepting him as part of our family and dealing with the implications of that with my parents and daughter.

It boils down to this. Nicholas is part of our family now, and my parents will just have to suck that up if they don't like it. He's a beautiful, intelligent, sweet, witty young man, and I'm glad to have him in my life. I don't intend to come out to my parents as poly right away, so I will let them get used to Nicholas being part of my home as a friend and roommate (which is literally true, as he shares Cliff's and my room) and then later on, clue them in about his true place in my life. Nicholas is more important to me than my stepdad's racist attitudes.

Oh, and on another politically charged topic, DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN the state of Florida for passing Amendment 2. Bloody bigoted idiots. I voted against it, Nancy voted against it, half the people I know voted against it, but there are apparently enough homophobic morons in this state to pass the damn thing. Shit fuck hell fire and damnation.
azdesertrose: (Default)
I can't go to bed because I have to stay up to pick up Cliff from work whenever he gets off, so I'm going to ramble.

I moderate a GLBT chatroom, and one of the regular chatters was afraid to tell me she's trans. I mean, really, why would I moderate a GLBT chatroom if I had a problem with transgendered people? I recognized something when she logged on, and her nickname as her pen name for stories she's written for a trans fiction archive that she sent me to before I knew she was trans. But really, why would a straight man (what I assumed she was--and we all know what we get when we assume) write trans fiction under a female pen name? I should have figured it out from that. I never asked outright because I think that's a little rude, but when she started logging into chat under the female name, I figured it out. And rather than carry on pretending I didn't recognize her, I just private messaged her and said "Hi (old masculine nick)! I recognized your nick from your stories." I think I startled her at first, but she said she thought people might figure it out. Why would I give a damn? I can see why her wife and kids might have a problem, but why would I? It doesn't change that she's an intelligent, kind person with a good sense of humor and some common interests with me, which is why I chat with her.

I have a hard time understanding why people hate on the GLBT community. I know that they do, but I have a hard time understanding why. I want to tell the haters, "It's none of your fucking business if someone is gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgendered. Leave us alone to live our lives." (I'm bisexual, so that's why I said us.) It's not like being GLBT makes a difference to someone's ability to do a job, or to their personality, or anything like that. People are who they are regardless of sexual orientation or identity. If someone is an asshole, they'll be an asshole gay, straight, or whatever, and if someone is a sweetheart, they'll be a sweetheart gay, straight, or whatever. If someone is a kind, intelligent person with a good sense of humor, chances are I'll like them, gay, straight, or whatever.

And that bullshit about gay men molesting children. Bullshit. Pedophilia and child molesting are much more common in straight men than in gay men or women of any stripe. (Not to say that there aren't child molesting gay men or women of whatever stripe, but straight men are much more likely to harm a child that way than women or gay men.) And yes, child molesters deserve a special level of hell for hurting kids. But don't hate on gays for it. By and large, they don't do it.

Okay, time to close this out. Cliff called me to pick him up and he's got to be back at work at 9am, so I'll be headed to bed after we get home.
azdesertrose: (Default)
Mike and Charlie's anniversary isn't until November, but I was screwing around looking for gay-specific anniversary cards so I would be able to find one this time rather than scrambling for one at the last minute like I did last year.

There are practically no e-cards out there for a friend to send to a gay couple to congratulate them on their anniversary. All the gay-specific cards are for one partner to send to the other, not for someone outside the relationship to congratulate them both.

Fricking GRRRR!!
azdesertrose: (Default)
"Why is it that, as a culture, we are more comfortable seeing two men holding guns than holding hands?" - Ernest Gaines

We would like to know who really believes in gay rights on livejournal. There is no bribe of a miracle or anything like that. If you truly believe in gay rights, then repost this and title the post as "Gay Rights". If you don't believe in gay rights, then just ignore this. Thanks.

Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind.


azdesertrose: (Default)

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